Twenty-eight years ago, the universe gave me a gift. I was given the privilege of being the mother of an amazing daughter. Since the moment they laid her in my arms, I have adored her. We are so different in so many ways, it was always a mystery to me how she understood the things she did with no help from her mother. I am a tomboy, makeup confuses me, and I am totally devoid of any ability to be stylish or match colors together. My daughter is the exact opposite. She is stunningly lovely and from the time she was a small child, she picked out her own clothes, styled her own hair and had a special affinity toward shoes and purses. A dancer, cheerleader, interior designer, my daughter is very feminine.
The challenge for me as a parent was to let her be who she was and not try to make her into me. I am a very linear, direct thinker. My daughter’s thought process is like being on a tilt-o-whirl. Her mind goes from one idea to the next, it is something to behold and I wouldn’t want her to be any other way. My prayer while she was growing up was to always let her have the space to find her own way and to always accept her for who she is.
She is one of the most creative human beings I have ever met. Whether with a paintbrush, a CAD drawing, or her own feet in dance, she has always had a way to see things in her mind’s eye that I could only imagine and she is able to portray those images through whatever artistic medium of her choice. She is brilliant and I have always been amazed and sometimes intimidated by her. She is beautiful, successful and a wonderful person.
With the birth of a daughter, at some time a parent’s thoughts will turn to the future and the day she will get married. I don’t know why it is that way, but it is. I am no different. I remember that moment, looking down at this beautiful baby, hoping that I would one day see her wedding day. I remember wishing for my daughter that her wedding would be everything she wanted it to be: a beautiful bride, a heartfelt ceremony, a wonderful husband, a sunny day, surrounded by people who love her. All those things have come to fruition for tomorrow is my daughter’s wedding day.
There are so many things I want to tell her, so many things I want her to know. There are things I have told her over and over, but she doesn’t believe me. As she gets older, I hope she will someday see herself the way that I see her. My daughter is beautiful, capable, fierce, independent, intelligent, and creative. She has a presence that shows an understanding and awareness of the world around her that I have never had. She lights up a room when she walks into it, she makes everyone feel welcomed. She is gracious, charming and elegant. She is a force to be reckoned with and a joy to behold. She is a steel magnolia. And tomorrow she becomes a bride.
Who is this man she has given her heart to? He is kind, generous, compassionate, caring, funny, smart, and he looks at my daughter with a love that is tangible. I could not have envisioned a better mate for her. He believes in her and encourages her to reach for her dreams. He lets her be exactly who she is and does not try to change her into something that would destroy her amazing spirit. He is a wonderful human being. Like my daughter, my son-in-law is also a creative person. His paintings are so poignant, so thought provoking, his talent takes my breath away. Together, their lives will be filled with emotion, beauty, color, freedom, spirituality, and romance.
So on this eve of their wedding, the joy in my heart overflows. Tomorrow, I get to watch this child that I have loved with all my heart marry the man that fills her heart to completion. It will be an honor to see them pledge their lives to each other knowing that they are stronger together than either one is separately. Regardless of details, their day will be perfect because they get to be married to each other.
~So to my wonderful daughter, I want you to know that all I have ever wanted is for you to be happy and have a well lived life. I want you to believe about yourself the things I know about you. You are unique. There is no one like you. I want for you to not be afraid to give your whole heart to the man you love, it is the key to being happy in your marriage.
~To Jessica and Ethan, here is my practical advice. Love each other. Treat each other with respect. Dance around your apartment. Talk to each other. Listen. Compromise. Remember how you felt at this moment. And if you ever have a dispute that you can’t seem to resolve, get naked.
And always remember that I love you with all my heart. It is an honor to be your mother.
Happy Wedding Day Jessica and Ethan!