I was getting ready to meet some imaginary internet people I only knew virtually from a bike forum and I was a little creeped out by the idea.  So in my anxiety, I texted my very wise friend and mentor Matt who always knows the right thing to say.  I remember asking “Matt what to hell am I doing traveling half way across the country to meet some random people from the internet?”  Matt’s answer, perfect as always, was “Robin, you are collecting stories and that is what life is, a collection of stories.  It means you are living life like you should.”

 If you have been following, you know the past three weeks I have been traveling, living out a tent (with an occasional hotel),  cycling and hiking while trying to mentally and physically prepare for hiking Kilimanjaro in two months.  During that time I have seen some incredible landscapes and scenery from around the United States.  I have seen wildlife, amazing vistas, sun-kissed plains, breathtaking mountains, waterfalls, rivers, and too many other things to mention.  Everywhere I went was a unique place with beauty all its own.  But the thing that made each place special was the people I met and the stories they told.

Team Collin

From hitchhikers in Yosemite, a magical wedding in a castle in Colorado, to meeting my absolutely amazing team members of Team Collin and riding in 24 Hours of Booty in Indianapolis, I have collected stories of women and men who are courageous, joyful, compassionate, passionate, impulsive, adventurous, thoughtful, loving, and a dozen more adjectives. And I have to say, they were all spectacular.  The only regret I have is not having more individual time with all of them.

When I am one-on-one with people I always try to ask them two questions.  I ask them “what do you want me to know about you”?  For that question, I usually hear what people are passionate about. They try to give me a glimpse of the things that mean the most to them like their love of music, being a good parent, things they care deeply about.  I love hearing about those things.  It gives a glimpse into their heart.

Then I ask them “what don’t you want me to know”?  Not everyone can answer that question, and that isn’t wrong, it is really hard to risk that type of sharing.  For me, I am always captivated by those who can answer it.  People who can reach down from their gut and show the raw courage that it takes to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to pull the mask off and show someone else our flaws, our dark sides.

The people that can answer those two questions in a very real authentic way are the people I gravitate toward because I know that they are the people who will be open with me about themselves and who won’t shrink back when I am open about myself.  There are many people in the world that don’t want that kind of deep understanding of others, they prefer the superficial “goodness” of life. They want life to be “perfect”, a fairy tale where people only recognize when things are going well, they refuse to acknowledge the darker side of life. That is how I used to be…and then, I was divided by zero and life became undefined.  The fairy tale ended because that is what fairy tales do.

Receiving the Spirit of Booty Award

At the same time the opposite can also be true, there are people who only see the dark side and can’t see the joy, laughter, hilarious antics, unbelievable bravery, love, tenacity and spirit of people who have faced tremendous obstacles and found ways to face them with grace, courage, and humility.

My teammates of Team Collin epitomize that spirit. They see the good and the bad, they see life as a whole array of emotion.  They are exactly the kind of people I want in my life.  And these were the sketchy internet people from my opening paragraph.  Who would have thought?

As I face the next chapter of my life, I have realized that I would rather take life and emotion raw than sugar-coated.  I want to surround myself with people who can sit with my pain, share in my joy, empathize with my sorrow, and engage with me in laughter. I want the whole experience, good and bad, because that is what living life is all about for me.  I want to choose relationships with people who will accept me fully.  The only way to find those people is to collect their stories.