Matt getting ready to fly

Sometimes, I can be a total hypocrite. It is do as I say, not as I do. As I have been getting ready to leave the country, between giving away all my possessions, applying for international visas, getting immunizations, etc.  I have been overwhelmed.  Instead of doing what I know to do, I have been wallowing in my own self-absorption. Thankfully, I have great friends.

Yesterday, my friend Matt (the one who always gets me into trouble) messages me and asks if I want to go hiking up one of our local mountains in the PNW.  Knowing I need to get out of the house, I said sure.  The hike is favorite of people in the area and also a local paragliding launch.  Matt is in love with paragliding.  So he tells me, “we can hike up together, you can walk down and I will fly down”.  Okay, that sounds fun.  I thought it would be a chance for me to be supportive of something he loves. I would go take some pictures and just spend some time with him.  I am going to miss him when I am gone.

Matt stepping off the edge

However, since I have been running around like a crazy woman for the last 4 weeks, eating a bunch of crap, not exercising and drinking too much, I feel terrible.  We start to hike and I am just sucking wind.  The trail goes up about 1600 feet in a mile and a half so it isn’t long, just steep.  I keep saying “Matt, go ahead of me, I’ll catch up”.  Of course, the kid won’t listen to anything I say.  We chat on the hike and instead of relaxing and enjoying the company of my friend, all I can think of is my anxiety of letting him down by being so out of sorts and making him late for his flight.

Matt flying

We finally get up to the top where the pilots are launching and I was immediately in awe.  They were flying!  I couldn’t wait for Matt to launch. Even though I am terrified of heights, within 10 minutes of hitting the summit I said to him “I want to do that someday”.  He replies “why not today?”.  HMM…why not indeed.  So I did it. No plan, no arguing, totally spontaneous.  I even surprised Matt, who without telling me, had planned it out ahead of time with his friend Mark from Seattle Paragliding.  Matt was expecting to have to argue with me to get me to do it.

Flying

It was just what I needed. If I am stuck in a rut, doubting everything in my life, anxiety building, procrastinating, not taking care of myself, etc. there is a quick easy solution: a jolt of courage, kind of like a defibrillator for the soul. I have to get out of my comfort zone and do something that scares me.  Facing a fear, feeling success, knowing that I can make my life anything I want it to be, owning my issues, and being the person I want to be is all possible, I just have to do it.  It really is that simple.

The coolest thing I have ever done

Got up this morning, went for a run, had a healthy breakfast.  Now I am going to do some administrative stuff that needs to get done, mail some gear to my son’s house for storage, mow the grass at the house I am staying at and then tonight…I have a date.  Yeah, a real one.

Just like a real defibrillator gives a heart another chance to beat and the person a chance to live, facing a fear and doing it anyway gives a soul another chance to fly and the person a chance to have a whole life.