I fly often enough to be in premier class. That means that I get upgraded from coach to first class whenever there is an open seat but I only pay coach fares.  Out of the last 20 legs of trips I have taken, I have been upgraded 15 times. I like boarding early, comfy seats, and larger overhead bins, but the rest of the first class experience feels odd to me.   One thing that always surprises me is how quickly the crew is there to meet your needs. That level of service is one huge difference between first class and coach.  One of my friends calls first class “princess class”.  I guess I am not used to a level of service that makes me feel like a princess.

I also have first class friends. Through their words, time, and care, they make me believe I have value to them.  They consistently demonstrate that they believe I am worthy of love and belonging even with all my imperfections.  They go on vacation with me, support me emotionally when I have difficult issues to deal with, come to my rescue when I have done something foolish, and believe that I can accomplish great things.  But the real key is that they are simply there for me.  I am convinced that is what it takes to be a first class friend, just being there for people.

I was thinking that everyone should feel treated like they are first class by someone.  Everyone should have someone who is there for them, who meets their needs on some level.  But as I allowed myself to think through it, I realized that what I need (and maybe everyone does) is rather than focus on how others treat me, I have to treat myself like I am first class and be that person who is there for  me. I should meet my own needs first before I expend all my energy on others.

When I was newly single and trying to redefine my life, I instituted “Friday night date night for one”. I would come home from work, get something special to make for dinner (including dessert) and a nice bottle of wine.  I would put some music on, light candles, have a lovely meal and then dance around the living room by myself.  I would treat myself like first class all the way on Friday nights.  But it was always something “extra”.

Unfortunately, the first class treatment never transferred beyond Friday night.   I am not sure why.  I guess I got busy with life, trying to be a first class mother, grandmother, colleague, friend, and there just wasn’t any time to treat myself the same way. Maybe I didn’t think I deserved the same treatment I gave everyone else.  Whatever the reason, I think that is something I need to change.  The next time I am cutting corners on self-care and not striving to meet my own needs before the needs of others, I need to remind myself to upgrade to first class.   I need to be first to recognize my value and to demonstrate that I am worthy of love and belonging.  I am worthy of being treated as first class.

Today as I sit in my third airport on the way home to visit my kids and granddaughters, when I have only had 2 hours sleep, I realize I am exhausted and without patience.  It might be time to practice some of that first class treatment right now.