Sometimes, I think life tests us.  Every time I have had some kind of insecurity about this decision, life will throw some kind of obstacle in my way which I have been interpreting as “see you can’t do it”, but I think the question life is trying to get me to ask is “how important is it to you?”.

I leave tomorrow for Washington DC.  Then fly out Wednesday morning for Africa.  My big worry was my obscene amount of baggage and how I will negotiate it all around the Addis Ababa airport.  I have 3 checked bags and a small carry on and backpack.  I think I need to cut one bag out.  That means either leave some of the clothes or some of the school supplies I wanted to bring.

That was my big worry, until the fire ants struck. Mean little beasties, fire ants are.  For those who don’t know me, I am deathly allergic to fire ants.  I was coming home from the store yesterday, in a hurry and not looking where I was going and stepped in a mound of fire ants.  Fortunately, thanks to reacting quickly, I am fine except for a painful foot.  It was an inconvenience but one that had me saying “you can’t even watch what you are doing in your own country, how are you going to go to another country, negotiate baggage, find your way around, figure out how to teach a class that doesn’t speak your language…etc etc”.  The litany of “I can’ts” began.

So today, I have to purchase the last of my supplies.  Spray my mosquito net with Permethrin, have lunch with a friend, repack and try to get rid of a suitcase full of clothes.  Sometime in there, spend my last day with my son, daughter-in-law, and grandbabies.  I really should have finished the packing thing earlier.  There just hasn’t been time to get my stuff done and visit with everyone also.

So I am stressing and when I get anxious and start to panic, I start focusing on all that I can’t do rather than on what I can.  Right now, it is full-blown panic time, so the “I can’ts” have possession of my otherwise positive attitude.  I have to remember that it is one step at a time. I need to start with the first item on my list and go until I have finished the list.  One step at a time. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step. I just need to begin.  I can figure the rest out as I go.

Deep breath Robin.  Remember to breathe, stay present, and be aware.  You can totally do this.  I wish Matt was here.