Wabi-sabi is a Japanese term that represents acceptance of transience and imperfection. Beauty is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. The wabi-sabi aesthetic is asymmetric, austere, simplistic, modest, rough and non-regular. It promotes intimacy and appreciation of the integrity of natural objects and processes. (Source wikipedia).

When my dad had his first stroke, as part of his rehab he learned how to make oval shaker boxes that nested within each other. He gave sets to all of his daughters. The weekend that I was visiting him, he didn’t have any perfect ones left, he only had the imperfect set that he made when he was learning. He wanted to make me a “perfect” set, but to me, those were perfect. In their imperfection I saw his tenacity to fight through the health problems, to learn a new skill, to practice getting it right. I saw a craftsman who loved to build things with his hands. I saw the father I loved in that imperfection. Wabi-sabi. I would post a picture but they are packed in the boxes in my office.

My friends Tony and Ken demonstrate the wabi-sabi aesthetic in all the things they surround themselves with. Their home is so tastefully decorated and comfortable, you can’t help but feel refreshed and loved when you walk through the door. It has been a haven for me for the last 6 years. A great example of their sense of taste is in their dishes, none of which match, all which are imperfect yet, to me, they are absolutely stunning.

In many ways their love for me has also shown that aesthetic and that is true for all of my friends. My friends saw this broken, damaged woman and recognized the internal beauty in me, my spirit, and my story. Their love for me has helped that spirit come out. They didn’t love me because I am stunningly gorgeous, witty, sophisticated, charming, or cultured because I am none of those things. I am too serious, I swear like a sailor, I could seriously use a shot of botox for my squint lines, I am blunt and outspoken, and I wouldn’t know culture if it slapped me upside my head. But with all the flaws, they see the beauty of my compassion, my love for the physical world around me and the people in it, my vulnerability, my shame, my fears, and they still think I am beautiful. It is their love and belief in me safely tucked in my soul that gives me the courage to embark on this journey.

One of my cycling flaws is that I suck at hills. When I was riding with Steve Cooper (an amazing cyclist), he told me to find a phrase that could match my breathing and my cadence, a mantra that I could chant while climbing. My friend Jonathan told me about the wabi-sabi. So now, even though it isn’t perfect, my climbing like the rest of cycling and my whole life, is wabi-sabi. Filled with the joy of the impermanent, the imperfect, the incomplete…undefined. When you pass me on a climb, you will hear me sucking air into my lungs and feel the energy of my legs pushing the pedals to turn the crank arms on the bike to the rhythm of wabi-sabi. And that is true of all parts of my life. The good part of life is the imperfections, those things that make us unique.

Today, take the time to see the beauty in someone you love. Not the idea of beauty our western society imposes on us, but take a look for the imperfections, because they are truly what makes people beautiful.