One of the best gifts I have ever received from the universe is the friendship of Matt.  We are the most unlikely of friends. I met him when I was a 44 year old, recently separated woman.  He was a 19 year old college student and our relationship has never been anything but platonic. I am convinced that every woman, struggling with the crushing emotional loss of a long term relationship needs to find a “Matt”, a kid that can teach her how to play again after a lifetime of responsibility.

Matt challenges me to do things I never would have attempted. He usually prefaces those challenges with “Robin, you can totally do this”.  However, those words usually don’t end well for me.  I am usually upside down or physically in harm’s way with Matt having to save me time and time again. But those words have precipitated some of the great stories of my life.   Stories that end with Matt saying “damn it Robin” :).

The first time I heard those words was when Matt wanted to me to kayak the Wenatchee. We were going to go on this overnight camping trip with a couple of other friends and go kayaking.  I had only been whitewater kayaking twice in my life.  Matt says “Robin you can totally do this. Fat guys in inner tubes and drinking beer do this.”  While that was technically true, Matt failed to mention that the fat guys do that when the Wenatchee is running at 1000 cfs whereas I was going to kayak it when it was above 10,000 cfs.

About 10 minutes into the run and I realized I didn’t belong on that river.  The third time Matt fished me out after I panicked and swam, we were standing on the side of the river and Matt starts explaining what I need to differently. The conversation went like this:  Robin (eerily calm): “I am not getting back in that boat.”  Matt: “It will take you hours to walk out of here.”  Robin (voice rising): “I don’t care if it takes me all damn day, I am not getting back in that boat!” Matt: “You will never get the boat out of here.” Robin (voice getting louder on the edge of hysteria): “The boat can sit right there and rot, I am NOT getting back in that boat!!” Oliver: “Just let her calm down a minute.” Robin (YELLING): “YOU CAN LET ME CALM DOWN ALL YOU WANT, I AM NOT GETTING BACK IN THAT BOAT!!!”  The end of the story, of course, is that, I did get back in the boat and finished the run and at the end Matt says “Damn it Robin.”  I have heard those words a lot in the 6 years that I have been friends with Matt.

I realized from that experience that life is a lot like kayaking.  There are a lot of people who spend their whole lives standing on the banks and watching other people have the fun of the experience.  But the fun starts where the water is moving, just like life starts where the water is moving.  In the moving water is the edge of fear and the unknown, where your heart starts pumping and you realize you are totally alive, focused in the moment.

But sometimes, life gives you rapids, challenging times that upset the peaceful floating along.  Then balance, as well as good paddling skills, become very important. Life is simpler if you keep the boat upright.  But sometimes, the rapids are too strong, life throws something at you that flips you upside down. At that moment, you need to have great self-rescue skills because you are always safer if you can stay in the boat and roll yourself up.  But sometimes, the rapids of life get too big and you have to pull the skirt and swim.  At that moment, you need great safety boaters who will pull you out of the water and get you safely to the shore.  Everyone needs great safety boaters in their lives because we all have times that we can’t do it alone.

And for those of us who are really really lucky, we will have a safety boater in our lives that doesn’t just pull us out, they take the time to convince us to get back in the boat.  Because life happens where the water is moving, it isn’t a spectator sport.  Having someone who will get you to reengage when you want to check out is the greatest gift any of us will ever have.

Thanks Matt for convincing me to get back in the boat.